Thursday, March 15, 2012

In which my subconscious takes me to school...

A Freudian psychiatrist would have a field day with the dream I had last night. (Okay, this morning, after I went back to bed after feeding the dog. It's Spring Break, y'all.)

I dreamed I was living in the apartment that I lived in while looking for this house. And it was full of trash and broken old stuff and simply useless things. (Anyone who's ever taught kids knows what I mean. I LOVED that little Suzy gave me a Hannah Montana Christmas ornament made out of macaroni, but I did not mourn its demise by squirrels in the attic. Hypothetically.)

So, anyway. It's not Hoarders: Buried Alive bad, but this apartment in my dream looks like my kitchen junk drawer, only all over. So dream me decides to start throwing out the actual trash. And then throwing out the broken stuff. And then throwing out the stuff that is meaningless bricabrac. Then all the clothes that are too big, too small, too gifted-by-my-great-aunt-Ida.

And in the process, I discovered an entire room in this apartment that I'd forgotten it had. A room with a closet big enough to be an extra room for either a study or a sewing room, with a closet of it's own. (I"m sort of obsessed with closets, which is kind of Freudian in itself.)

The psychology behind this is so clear, I'm not even going to point it out. Except I am.  Once we get rid of the useless and broken things we're holding onto, we find time/space/energy/emotion for things that are important.

THEN--here's the kicker. When I finally did get my butt out of bed, I'm eating my cereal and Mom comes out of her "suite" and she's looking sort of shell-shocked, so I ask her what's up. She's doing this Lenten "cyber retreat" of reading and stuff, and today's reading was about how we should never be so attached to material things that we wouldn't be willing to give them up. So she said, clearly shaken, "What if I had to give up my sewing machine?"

Now, Mom owns the BMW of sewing machines. It's got all this embroidery stuff, and a computer, and it does everything but sliced your bread for you. And quilting/embroidering is her THING, if you know what I mean.  She can't get around very easily, but she can make beautiful things with this machine. Unlike little Suzy's macaroni Montana, this gives her great joy.

So I told Mom, "You'd sew by hand." She thought about it a moment, then her shoulders relaxed, and she said, "Yes, I would. I could still make beautiful things."

Of course she could. My ninety year old grandmother is partially blind, but she still knits beautiful sweaters.

I once gave up the Internet for Lent. I allowed myself one e-mail check a day. That's it. No message boards, no IM chat, no surfing.  Now, this was before I was writing for a living, but I would say about 80% of my social activity was online. (Okay, 90%, but I don't want y'all to think I was a freak.) My friends lived in other states, I was participating in a writing message board, and IM chat was a big part of my day. It was REALLY hard. And that was before Twitter and Facebook!

But I still wrote. I wrote a lot. (It was just a hobby then.) I wrote by hand, to stay away from the computer. And I found time for a lot of other things, too. Of course, they were all indoors, and I didn't do anything so radical as go make face to face friends. But giving up the computer did not make me any less of who I am.

So, I'm curious. What could you get rid of easily?  And what could you give up that would be painful but possible?  Would it change who you are, or would it give you more space in your life to BE that person?

p.s. Maybe the theme for today is Thinky Thursday? 

7 comments:

  1. I've had that "finding a room" dream a lot but never bothered to think of its possible meanings. Mostly, I had just thought, "Wow, finding an extra room would be cool."

    So now you have me staring at my belly-button, wondering.

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    1. heh. I've been doing a lot of belly-button staring lately, mostly about getting rid of baggage and making room for what's important, which is why the dream made me laugh.

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  2. Great post! I should really think about these things.

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  3. I would give my computer or the TV I have in my room if I could keep all my books! They are more important than my bed o.o I could live without a bed but not without my books!

    Interesing dream. Your subconscious is very cool haha "she" even teaches lessons :D

    Awsome post!
    Keep smiling!

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    1. (A slow reply, sorry!)

      I would definitely give up TV before books. The computer would be hard, because it's what I write on, but I'd give up all the extra computer stuff (Twitter, Facebook, etc.) to keep my email and writing program. :-D

      My subconscious is smarter than me most of the time. *sigh* I should listen.

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  4. My dear, Rosemary,

    I would give up doing laundry. It would free up oodles of time and get my children hastily taken away from me by Social Services which would free up even more time, especially after DH left me to get the kids back. Now to make sure he takes his dogs with and my junk-drawer life would be...empty.

    Aaah, I guess I'll keep ironing clothes.

    I love your dream and the meaning behind it. So very true that we do have little things we could give up to make our lives more productive and fulfilling.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Hugs~

    Cat

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    1. lol! That's like when I was a kid and I would say I was giving up green vegetables for lent. For some reason, that never flew with my mom.

      Thanks for taking this post in the way I meant it! I know there are things we have to do for our families (and, you know, the people who have to smell us on the bus). But it is surprising how much time/space/energy I spend on things that don't give me (and my family) health, happiness or genuine fulfillment.

      :-D Thanks for commenting!

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