Friday, January 2, 2009

The reset button

I was thinking about this (while I was at the gym for the first time in 6 weeks or so... me and every other person with a new year's resolution)... New Year's Resolutions aren't that big a deal when it seems like I'm ALWAYS resolving to be better about X, Y, or Z.

New season, new month, new WEEK. Heck sometimes it's a question of a new day. As in, starting today, I'm going to eat right/go to the gym/keep up with the housework... And the sad thing is, it's always the same stuff.

So, I was getting kind of down on myself. (I'm in a reflective, nostalgic mood, I guess, because it's the anniversary of my dad's death, plus all the turn over of the year stuff.) Why do I let myself backslide with the exercise thing, when I *know* it affects my health? Why do I eat those things? Why am I not more efficient with my writing? Why don't I write as many books as author X? Why don't I work harder at internet publicity? Blah blah blah.

Then I realized, there's no limit on chances to try harder. It's not like a video game, where you only get so many new lives. (Although, it would be kind of awesome if you could hit a save point where, if you do have to start over, you only lose so much ground.) Anyway. Sometimes I worry God is sitting up there with a great glowing clipboard of accountability, checking off attempts. "Oh, sorry, kiddo. That was your seven hundredth and fifty-second resolution to be less of a neurotic nut job. Now you just have to STAY that way. And don't even talk to me about the size of your butt. You've spent all your chips on that issue, and it is non-negotiable."

So, I just remind myself that it only SEEMS like everyone in the world has got their act more together than I do, and resolve not to be so hard on myself in the future. :-D

Best wishes in the new year. I hope you all resolve to make every day better than the one before.

1 comment:

  1. How did I NOT know you were on blogger as well? Huh. Well, adding this link to my blogroll. Sad to hear that about LJ if it does happen!

    Hope your start to the New Year is productive!

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